Phrase of the Day (August 21)

This post is going to be a true, transparent look at how we really are doing.  The good and the bad.  There is certainly more good than struggle and for that we are thankful.  If there were a phrase for today it would have been “oh dear God” and I would have to give my husband credit for it.  It would be things like…
Oh dear God please let her take a nap today…
Oh dear God please don’t let her cry out tonight….
Oh dear God please help Grace listen…
Oh dear God please give me a break…
Oh dear God….

and it would and has gone on and on.  She really is doing well.  It seems we have had almost instant attachment which sometimes happens when they have come from an orphanage.  Not like Grace who grieved her foster mother terribly.  Lyla seems to be grieving no one.  But with this instant attachment comes the feeling of being stretched very thin.  Today, although thankful for the blessings, I am struggling with being everything for everybody.  Lyla constantly needs me and that means the attention is taken away from Grace. And when the attention is taken away from Grace she becomes loud and hyperactive.  And that is sometimes not what a stretched thin momma needs.  She wants to love on Lyla and Lyla doesn’t want to be loved on.  So she pushes, and hits, and pinches.  All of which Grace does not understand and feels like Lyla doesn’t love her.  So, I have to love on Lyla, gently correct, and sneak in love on Grace because Lyla doesn’t like it when Grace gets attention.  Now Grace is getting lots of attention from her Aunt Lauren and her daddy, but it’s just been hard for her.  So this momma is tired.  Trying to foster healthy attachment for Lyla, healthy adjustment for Grace, keep everybody clean, clothed, change a diaper, feed Lyla, and try to fit some time in for helping myself adjust to all the adjustment.  It’s enough to drive you nuts.

Things to think about….Lyla is sleeping.  Tonight she was even able to almost completely soothe herself to sleep.  Only calling me at the last minute.  She is, however, experiencing night terrors.  She will scream out in the middle of the night and she’s not even awake.  She is completely inconsolible during this time.  Last night we had to wake her up and as soon as she realized where she was she calmed down and went right back to sleep.  This scares Grace.  Who knows what Lyla is thinking or dreaming about.  It could be going back to the orphanage or us loosing her or…who knows.
Another thing is that this child will not quit eating.  She has eaten since day one and eats all day long.  The drinking has slowed down quite a bit but the eating seems to be getting worse.  She has to constantly be eating or have the security of food in her hand.  Today after we got back from lunch she was talking to our guide.  Our guide looked at me and said, “Lyla wants me to tell you she’s starving.”  That broke my heart!  She had just eaten all of her food and half of mine!  The child just eats.  That’s so sad to me.  Pulls at my heart.
The child will NOT get in a stroller.  Hates them.  The first day she did really good and we bribed her with chocolate to get her in it.  Not today.  So because she won’t ride she either wants to be carried or walk.  I can hardly hold her at this point with all the eating she’s doing.  I swear she’s gained at least 7 lbs in a week.  And when she walks she is soooo slow.  Trying to take everything in.  That’s just not going to fly in the airport.  We’ve got to move faster.  She will not sit in a high chair.  Wants to eat in my lap.  Her food and mine.  You get the point.
Grace wants to love on her and cannot understand why Lyla won’t let her.  Grace said, “who wouldn’t love me?”  She’s very sensitive to everything coming out of everybodies mouth.  Earlier Brandon was loving on Lyla and said, “Daddies baby”  When he left the room she looked at me with tears in her eyes and asked, “Am I still Daddies baby too?”
So even though we are doing well with Lyla and Lyla is coming along just fine we are still struggling in some areas.  We are thankful because things could be so much worse then what they are.  So in continuing with our phrase for the day…”Oh dear God”  please pray with us…..
….that the tb test will be negative when we go tomorrow to have it checked.
….that Lyla’s night terrors will cease.
….that God will give us wisdom in how we deal with Grace’s insecurities.
….that he will allow Lyla to get over her fear of having any barrier between us and that she will get into the stroller and high chair.  (purely selfish request)
….that he will begin to prepare us for the journey home.  Trust me…it’s gonna take an eternity and we’re not talking about the good side of eternity.
….that God will allow Lyla to transition with our dogs at home.

We miss you our dear friends!  We are ready to be home!

Paige

For My Auburn Buds.... (August 21)

Gotta start early....

Still working on looking at the camera!  Everytime I tell her to look at the camera she says something back to me in Chinese or she tries to make a peace sign.  I think she’s probably tired of having her picture made.  :)  I can tell you that the SEC is represented well her in Guangzhou.  We met some Arkansas Razorback fans today and also some LSU fans.  Our guide mistakenly said the Alabama outfits were cute.  She won’t make that mistake again she said.  So from Guangzhou…WAR EAGLE!!!  Or as Lyla said today…Wa Eadul!

Medical (August 20)

Before the medical....

After the medical....

Still crying....

Crying some more....

The medical today was traumatic.  For everyone involved.  I do not remember it being that way with Grace.  Brandon said it’s because we’ve possibly blocked it out.  :)  There were probably 15-20 other families in that place.  All with screaming, terrified kids.  These kids have just been taken away from everything they’ve ever known, been given to people they’ve never seen, and now people are poking and proding all over them.  Doesn’t help with the whole attachment thingie.  But…in retrospect…thinking about today, those babies are now with families who love them, care about them, and want the very best for them.  They have mommies and daddies who will hug them when they get shots and when they have boo boos.  Something they’ve probably never had before.  And even though it broke my heart to see her cry today (even though I’m not sure if she was crying because she was scared or just because everyone else was screaming) it made my mommies heart glad to be able to comfort her.  She no longer has to worry about no one kissing her boo boos.
So we survived!  Now…pray for a negative tb test!!!!!

Paige

Last Night in Jinan (August 18)

We made it!  We survived our time in the province!  This, in my opinion, is always the hardest part of the trip.  Tomorrow, we will wake up, eat, pack, and head to Guangzhou.  We do have to make one little stop at the passport office and then we are on our way!  Once we get to Guangzhou we will be one step closer to home.  When we adopted Grace I was very sentimental about her last night in her homeland.  The thought has crossed my mind about Lyla, and her spending her last night in her home city, but now I think about what all is awaiting her instead of what all she is leaving behind.  She is getting Aunts, Uncles, grandparents, cousins, and tons of love from friends of her Mommy and Daddy.  A lot of love has been lavished all over this baby and she hasn’t even met all of us yet.  So no sadness here tonight.  Only excitement about being one step closer to home!  She did not cry tonight.  Probably because we let her fall asleep with that cell phone.  But who cares!  There was no screaming.  When we adopted Grace, I began singing the song, Jesus King of Angels by Fernando Ortega to her everynight.  Tonight Grace asked if I would sing that to them.  I sang it along with Jesus Loves Me, Jesus Loves the Little Children, Be Thou My Vision, Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing, and was halfway through God of the Ages when Lyla, eyes barely open, said, “Mommy, shhhhh”.  With that finger on her lip!  Ha!  I was never so happy to be quiet.  Bless her.  She fits in this family perfectly.  God is good!  He perfectly knitted together every single detail of this adoption.  And his timing has been perfect.  So goodnight, one last time from Jinan!  Hello Guangzhou!  Here come the Bettertons!

We'd Pay $100 for.... (August 18)

1.  Big Bob Gibson’s BBQ.
2.  Rick and Bubba.
3.  Any drink with ICE.
4.  Any drink that’s cold.
5.  Air conditioning that cools.
6.  McDonald’s that tastes like McDonald’s.
7.  Fruit
8.  A SALAD!!!!!
9.  To hear more than the 4 of us and our guide speak English
10.  To walk down the street and not feel like we are going to throw up from the smells.
11.  Ice Cream
12.  Lasagna
13.  To not feel like we’re going to die everytime we try and cross the street.
14.  Our driver to drive on the road and not the pedestrian street.
15.  a cup of coffee made from my coffee pot in my kitchen.
16.  to not have to remember to not rinse your toothbrush off with water from the faucet.
17. everybody we know to have a webcam so we could see the faces we miss. (But that would be more than $100)
18.   to be able to tell one of those babies at that orphanage yesterday that they had a family waiting on them.
19.  anything from the room service menu that reminded us of home.
20.  someone to do our laundry.

The Orphanage Visit (August 17)

I have to admit I was very nervous about going to the orphanage this morning.  After the night we had last night with Lyla I was sure she would not want to leave with us when it was time to go.  First let me say, this orphanage is probably the nicest place I’ve ever been.  Very clean (it actually smelled clean!), and the kids you can tell are very loved.  There is lots of touch, lots of color, and lots of sensory stimulation here.  It didn’t feel like an orphanage.  I left with a very happy heart.  Mostly because Lyla didn’t pitch a fit when it was time to go.  She actually led us to our van!  At the end the orphanage director came out and spoke to us.  She was the only person that Lyla smiled and wanted to see.  She hugged all over my baby.  When it was time to go it was very sad to see them say goodbye to her.  They were sad to see us go!!!  We exchanged email addresses and websites.  I made sure I let them know how much we appreciated them taking care of her.  They were very appreciative that we genuinely cared about the Chinese people.  When we got off the elevator on the 3rd floor and Lyla realized that we were on the floor that she used to call home she immediately tried to pull me back into the elevator.  She wanted nothing to do with it.  Her nannies came out and tried to hold her and she kept saying no.  We actually only stayed there less than five minutes on her floor.  She kept repeating the same phrase over and over again and John, our guide, told us she said she was scared.  So we have been home tonight and she has been different.  She’s let down her guard a bit.  Showing a little bit of her stubborn side and just acting a little bit more like a toddler should.  I think it’s because she knows somehow that she is ours and that she’s had some closure. Great day. Thanks for your prayers.  Tomorrow we will go to the train station where Lyla was found and take a family picture.  More closure.  Tonight was just as horrible for Lyla when bed time came but we think we may have figured out why.  She keeps repeating the same thing over and over again.  Of course it’s in Chinese and we have no idea what it is.  But after 45 minutes of her screaming so hard this Chinese phrase and us wanting to slit our wrist, we gave her the play cell phone, she walked right over, laid down, and went straight to sleep.  :)  So tomorrow, the phone will come out first thing.  Who knows!  Thanks again for your prayers!  Two more days in Jinan!

Paige

Jinan Social Welfare Institute (August 17)

From the orphanage today....

The Orphanage Director…Lyla loved her!  When she came out to meet us Lyla smiled from ear to ear and called her “grandmother”..





The bed in the back by the door was Lyla’s…

Lyla’s nannies…they wanted to hold her and she would not let them!  We didn’t stay long on her hall because, according to our guide, she kept saying she was scared…